Steven Wright

If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the famous
erudite scientist who once said, “I woke up one morning and all of my
stuff had been stolen..and replaced by exact duplicates!”

His mind tends to see things a bit differently than the rest of us
mortals.

Here are some of his gems:
1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 – Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
3 – Half the people you know are below average.
4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name
5 – 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 – If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

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