Jesus is Watching You

A robber enters a home while no one is there. He goes into the bedroom and starts searching through drawers when he hears a voice say “Jesus is watching you.” He slowly looks around and doesn’t see anybody and proceeds to look through more drawers.

Once again he hears the voice “Jesus is watching you” he shines his light around the room and sees a parrot.” Are you talking to me?” he asks. The bird replies “Jesus is watching you”

The robber in confusion says, “So is your name Jesus or what?” The parrot replies “No, my name is Barney.”

The robber asks “Who in the world would be stupid enough to name a bird Barney?”

The parrot says “The same people who named that Rotwieller over there Jesus!”

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Married in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he leaves. Continue reading

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Ponderables

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your butt? Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic’? more… Continue reading

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