Bobby’s class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Bobby to recite a sentence with a direct object. Bobby stood and thought, then said, “Teacher, everybody thinks you are beautiful.” “Why thank you, Bobby,” the teacher said, blushing. “But what is the direct object?” “A good report card next month,” he replied.
Check out Music on the Main Menu. I’m testing out 2 different Jukebox programs. I’ll need to password protect it for access from the outside world if we decide to keep them.
Slowly, but surely I’m getting the pictures back in line… See the Photo Gallery link on the main menu.
Ever wonder how some policies come about?
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The new comergoes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done around here. And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.
A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. “Are you hiring any help?” she asked. “No,” he said. “We already have all the staff we need.” “Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?” she asked.
Every time you get a call you consider junk, just ask the questions in this script. If they answer no, you may be able to sue them. You can print copies of it to keep by every phone at home. If everyone follows it, the junk calls will slowly but surely drop off. Continue reading
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on her rug, grabbed for something to hold onto and seized the telephone table.
It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman’s three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams.
The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband’s voice on the other end say, “Nobody’s said hello yet, but I’m positive I have the right number.”
An outstanding computer tech was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The tech looked at his rifle and the at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, where upon he yelled toward the target area: “It’s leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!”
“Mummy, Mummy!” called Little Johnny one day.
“Do you know the beautiful vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
“Yes”, said his mother. “What about it?”
“Well the last generation just dropped it.”